The Countdown. Day 7.

I want to start by saying thank you to those who have read any of my posts and either prayed or sent good thoughts my way (whichever you are into of course). You may never understand how much healing comes from this simply act of writing.

The last two weeks have been filled with so much uncertainty. Symptoms I have never experienced on top of the same ones I have dealt with for fifteen years. Something new and wrong is going on inside my body. I held out seeing my doctor for a while. To be honest as bad as the pain was I was more scared of going to my doctor than dealing with it. Every time I have gone it has been life altering news. I am starting to like my life and had finally adjusted to the other health issues. A new illness, if the past is any indicator, is followed by huge changes. From the death of my only daughter to being forced to drop out of college. I am not scared of another illness, I already know the likely diagnosis, treatment options, prognosis, etc. Yet I do not know what will accompany it. I have a week of my regular medications raised as a last attempt to rule out any minor causes for the symptoms before I receive the official diagnosis. I am not certain of what will come from it but I think this go around, as terrified as I am, I finally have a little bit of hope. My dearest friends and fellow angel mommies have been wonderful in dealing with my little mini meltdowns and they have brought me back up to where I need to be mentally. Times are still hard, I am still terrified, but with their help I found some sort of peace. I know my life is about to change in some way, big or small, but I have a wonderful group of people surrounding me during it.

So here comes the countdown till next Monday.