The higher doses of medication did not work. So still I am in pain with no obvious reason why. Tomorrow I will finally call the doctor and hope for a quick appointment for the next round of testing and experimenting with medications. Yet somehow I am finally calm. At peace if you will. I guess laying awake for six hours mentally making a plan for each known diagnoses you can finally start to accept whatever may come. I know nothing ever stays the same for long, not for me or anyone else.
The only thing that worries me now is the response of those around me. Few people know how to react to illness. They either make a huge deal out of it or try and ignore it; neither or which works. The only way to make the one sick not feel like an out cast or less human is to acknowledge it. Discuss it and find a way to incorporate a new routine that works for everyone involved. From doing something extra to help out when someone is in pain or fatigued to just listening when they need an ear to vent, bitch, or cry with. Some people are blessed to never know chronic sickness and for that I am thankful. But there is always empathy to be had for those we do not understand. I can empathize with how hard it is for them to deal and accept something so utterly out of their control like another persons health. Hopefully with the coming months as this chapter of my life unfolds the people I am around will empathize more and more with my situation.
So here I am, another night of insomnia due to this pain. It is now 6:44am. Which I guess means this is technically Monday but as I haven't slept I am calling it Sunday in this post at least. I will lay down again and try and rest some before finally getting to make the anticipated phone call.
No comments:
Post a Comment